------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ever since the day I started to lose the glitz and glamour in my life I started to have thoughts like this:
While facing adversity, sure, it is hard to see the sunshine behind the clouds. However you have two choices: Face it positively or otherwise.
To face it negatively is plain simple: BITCH BITCH AND BITCH. SULK SULK AND SULK ( keep typing suck for some reason. -_- ) WHINE WHINE AND WHINE. Period.
To face it with positively you gotta have your hopes high, and your heart and soul ignited with consistent motivation. There is another alternative which I won't recommend at all is making up stories to yourself to feel better. Then slowly, you shift your current location from earth to your imagination/fantasy/whatever the fuck you wanna name it.
Personally I choose neither of the options above.
I choose to face it REALISTICALLY.
re·al·is·tic
Adjective
|
Many bad incidents will have a good side after the bad has past, but some..... simply hopeless.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three days ago mom said that I have a post draft, and she will collect whatever is it for me when she is free.
Day before yesterday, I recieved fucking this pile of shit--
Salute the efficiency of the government servants. Not only I received this pile of fuck 16 days to camp starts but also this letter was sent out on the 22nd February this year. -___-
Work ethics of a sloth.
But that isn't the main point---
The main point is how much I hate talking to my family members now.
Ever since the day I was told of the existance of national service, I despise it and I refuse to go. As the years go by, I added more reasons as I have different thoughts and needs. Reasons are listed below:
1. On how much it is against my liking -- I am not an outdoor person. I hate the forest, it is so humid and dirty. I am terrified of insects. I don't like outdoor activities.
2. Many cases of death. I know that we can die anytime in any way but I can choose not to die there. Truthfully, I am not a patriotic person -___-
3. Health woes-- All these years I have this weird thing: If the weather is too hot I will feel nauseous. .___. No idea why .____. I don't even know what is going on, all I know is that it sucks every time when I am under the sun. -___- Oh, the irony. I am born in a tropical country wtf is this sorcery. Furthermore, I have arthritis. Already feel pain even if I stay at home for a day don't talk about climbing here and there like a chimp for 3 months.
4. Delays college entrance = delaying graduation and delaying the start of working.
5. Is not fair that this doesn't involve everyone. There are rumors going around that students who are inactive in co-curricular activities will be secretly chosen by teachers. Some say otherwise. Some people say that among the children in the family, one of them will be randomly selected while the only child will definitely be chosen. I don't know, I don't give a fuck. If this involves everyone in my age then I have no say.
6. Now, if I don't go to college I need to work. Sure you get money for being in national service but the amount they pay you are equivalent to bird droppings. Only 18, not even officially 18 and I have medical bills to pay. Soon, I would need to seek treatment and probably physiotherapy. Government hospitals are not free for those non government school (previous) students. -___- No one is going to pay for me, so yeah I am the only person whom I can depend on, financially.
7. National service is not the only place where I can learn how to mix with other races, be a team player, disciplined blablabla. I believe I have taught myself much better than what they offer. No, going to NS does not give you any higher chance of entering universities abroad. Our NS isn't internationally recognized and furthermore, this isn't even part of their requirement in the first place.
8. My maths tutor almost became a national service trainer. Why did he reject the offer? He said that almost all the male trainers molest the girls/sexually harass them in some way, whether direct or indirect. The girls cannot do anything because the supervisor also do the same! They will twist their words and in the end there is no conclusion to anything.
Before any of those fuckities happened I always tell mom those reasons of why I refused to go whenever she brings this topic up. I gave the same reasons to my aunt too. On the first day I met my dad I also told him the exact same reasons.
Yesterday my dad called and asked about the mail from NS. I told him that I called the office and told them my appointment with the rheumatologist is A DAY after the departure date and this is the only date the hospital could give me, my original date was 1st of May. -__- The lady told me that I don't have to go on that day first until I settled the delay documents/medical report blablabla.
Dad asked me to ask mom to send me to the hospital today with the letter and ask them to give me another date, since the nurse would have thought that I was bullshitting.
Why do that? I thought. Last month they already told me that the rheumatologist available dates are full and I only have 2 dates to choose from. NS is no bullshit, I would need to bring the documents the next time I go there anyway. Also, it is a very selfish act as it is completely unfair for those who had made the appointment earlier and since seeing a rheumatologist is no joke, I believe that there are people who need to see the doc more urgently than I do. After all, I am excused to wait. Time may not excuse them to..
I told my dad the above sentences and he said I have to. Again, I repeated myself that I am excused since I am going to hand in documents later. Also, if possible I do want to avoid. This is what everybody knows (or should I say, used to know.)
Then my dad asked if I don't wanna go because cow is not going. He even called him black guy, like my mom.
(If you have not been reading my past posts...FYI, dad is racist. He dislikes black people and any race from the Middle East)
Then my dad asked if I don't wanna go because cow is not going. He even called him black guy, like my mom.
(If you have not been reading my past posts...FYI, dad is racist. He dislikes black people and any race from the Middle East)
One brain nerve snapped and I muttered, "Forget it."
I was really, really close of hanging up abruptly. -__-
There goes my dad again, calling me stupid for not being able to communicate with mom so she could make me go college.
Fucking pathetic dreamers. Not like he has never dealt with her in this way before. If not, they wouldn't get a divorce in the first place.
No dad, I am not negative. I am being realistic here that being the most stubborn person on earth, she means what she says. She gets whatever she wants and will do whatever to reach it. She will get away from the bad, while we cannot.
Dad later asked: "Can you just stop focusing on fighting for your own rights?"
Dad got pissed off and hung up.
Both of my parents asked me why can't I obey the rules like my cousin and obediently go to NS?
They must have forgotten that the one and only reason why cousin went to NS is because her parents said they will give her an I-pad if she goes. (Sad for her, the I-pad 2 launched 2 days after she got her I-pad. LOL)
This afternoon my cousin called and asked if I am going for NS, and why am I not going.
Conclusion: Talking to my family members has became a fucking waste of time.
I think there really is a possibility that stupidity, ignorance and obtuse characteristics are genetic. -sigh-
Am I right or what? People should really wake the fuck up and stop being delusional. -____-
No comments:
Post a Comment